19 days left as head of department.

The last 2 months I have had an average workday of 10.2 hours (have kept track) and still I'm far from having done the job as well as I would have liked to. It's not just a question of being better at making priorities, since there are many tasks and communications I have handled very lighthandedly - I seriously have the feeling, that if I was to do heading, supervision and research "perfectly" I would be working 24-7. Recently a very wise and experienced research manager from another country gave me this advice (quoted from memory): "You can't do everything and you never will. Some things will always fall through the cracks. The point is to learn which things to let fall through the cracks and which people to disappoint when you do it".

I could argue it is a female thing, but I'm not sure it is. You want to, but making everybody happy just isn't possible in a "middle" manager and -head job. Managing in itself isn't difficult; it's handling people's expectations, frustrations, conflicts and disappointment in a constructive and "strong leadership" kind of way which is the toughest part of the job. I still have a LOT to learn, but be there no doubt that I have learnt much about myself and my colleagues the last year that I wouldn't be without.

Now I need a rest from conflicts and mutual frustrations, and maybe, just maybe, several years down the road, I might return to "heading" - if in the meantime I have become better at handling those cracks and all that falling...
# posted by Lisbeth at: 12:00